What My Heart Desires To Write About Today

“First gradually, then suddenly.” That was an interesting concept that was brought up in class from out readings and it reminded me of something I learned just before I left on my mission. Life is all about the concept of things going gradually, then suddenly. We gradually learn things until suddenly we graduate. We gradually prepare until suddenly the day of the test comes. We gradually make plans until suddenly we are at the temple to be married. At each stage of our lives there are sudden events that we are given time to gradually prepare for.

The way I began to think about it was like a series of locks in a canal. A boat is at sea level on one side of the canal as it enters the first lock. The water level in the boats current lock is then increased until it matches the water level of the next lock in the series. Once the water levels match, the next set of doors are opened and the boat then proceeds. The doors are then closed again and the water level raised in the second chamber until it matches the level of the third chamber. The doors open, the boat proceeds, until finally it is at the correct level to continue its way on the other side of the canal.

In life, there are some doors that we open in our own time, there are others that open at specific, set times. When we turn eight we have the opportunity to be baptized. The time for our preparatory water to rise is over and the doors are opened. If we are not prepared, then so it is. When I turned nineteen, the time for my preparations to serve a mission were over and suddenly the time for the doors to open had come. I was either ready, or I wasn’t. Fortunately, I had spent a good teal of time preparing, gradually raising my water level through prayer and scripture study, so that I was not taken by surprise when suddenly the doors were opened. After returning from my mission, I had the opportunity to prepare for the next step, marriage. This door was one that I could open somewhat at my own pace. I was able to choose the day when suddenly I would be sealed to my wife, and thus, give myself a set amount of time to prepare.

Throughout life our doors open at different times. We can be ready for those moments by constantly raising the water level of our preparation, or we can allow each transition to overcome us as a wall of water crashing across the hull of an unprepared boat.

Leaving Home

The only question I would have when speaking about leaving home would be, which time? I’ve left home so many times. Each summer for things like Especially For Youth, or Scout Camp, or later in life for college, or for my mission. Each time I was half a world away from my home and my family. I suppose, however, that the most difficult of these would be when I left for college.

We lived in Maryland for my senior year of high school. I enjoyed the school, was on the wrestling team, and was accepted to Brigham Young University. I was excited to go! My parents and I decided that the easiest way to get to college would be to drive there in the family minivan. As in me drive there in the family minivan. Alone. It would be the first road trip I’d ever been on where I was the driver, since I had only obtained my first license earlier in the school year.

I had a good friend named Stephanie Miller and she needed to go to BYU as well. Our parents talked about things and decided it would be great for us to drive across together. So my dad taught me how to change a tire, we packed up everything and get ready to go. My family had just been given the assignment to go to Hong Kong for my dad’s work, so they left to the airport a few days before I was to leave for Utah. I was then alone.

I was largely unaffected. I was excited to be taking the road trip. I loved to drive and I was ecstatic that the minivan would be mine for my freshman year of college. It was great to know that I would have a car!

On Sunday I went to church in our family ward. That was when it really started to sink in. I had never really been in church without my family before. That had been a constant throughout my life; when you’re at church, your family is too. I sat there thinking of how much I loved my family. Tears came to my eyes as the congregation sang, of all hymns, “Families Can Be Together Forever” as the closing hymn. I realized that I missed my family very much, but I was happy to be on my own. I felt the Lord letting me know that everything would be okay, that I was doing the right thing. I left the next day for college, had a great road trip, and everything was wonderful.

Fierce Conversations

I found the keynote on fierce conversations to be very interesting. I liked the point she made of conversations being “with someone.” You cannot have a conversation if (1) you don’t have anyone else there or (2) you are not there. If you don’t have anyone there and you are attempting to have a conversation, you may want to seek help. However, many people think they are having conversations, when in reality they are dividing their time and attention so much that they could hardly be considered a part of the conversation. I have been found guilty of this at times when talking to family. I will become distracted at times and begin browsing the internet or start a chore or task that so completely absorbs my concentration that I find I can’t really concentrate on either very well. Conversations like that would be considered “failed” conversations.

I would agree that our relationships, our careers, and our lives are built by the conversations that we have. In my own relationships, I find I truly value a person that I can communicate with and have truly “fierce” conversations with. I want to be able to be open, honest, and productive in my conversations with them and expect that back. In my careers, I left my last job because of failed conversations. I felt that I wasn’t understood or taken care of by my employer as I expected. There was a lack of communication, not just in words, but in action as well that led to failed conversations. I see also that in my life, my conversations with parents, friends, priesthood leaders, my wife, and the Lord have led me to become who I am. The fierce conversations that I’ve had in my life have been the great building blocks of my character.

Me In (Exactly) 100 Words

I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. I just got married and love my beautiful wife more than anything. I do calligraphy and personally designed and wrote our wedding invitations. I enjoy working on cars, even though I’m a beginner. I have a passion for great music, which seems to be a dying breed nowadays. I speak Chinese and love everything about China. I love laughing, smiling, and being optimistic. Every day is a great day for me! I enjoy solving puzzles, thinking deeply, and finding solutions. My name is Tanner Christensen, I love my wife, and I’m a Mormon.

Why this title?

讀: ​ dú​

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